I have this much younger friend who years back began to call me Ninang in anticipation of the time she will get married. Yes, she said, she wanted me to be Ninang then. Thing is, she is prepared to walk down the aisle but for the absence of a groom. She's single till now.
Two days ago, a former co-teacher of my husband asked him and me (in absentia) to be godparents at their wedding. I'm 51 -- am I ready? Am I deserving?
Back in the 1980s, I was with a much older cousin in her kitchen and she was anxious: she had just been asked to be Ninang and she was 40. That made her feel really old, she said.
Why does being asked raise so many questions/issues? True, it is an honor to be asked besides which there are superstitions that refusing will bring bad luck to the couple. But on what bases are the choices made?
I know for a fact that some choose godparents on the basis of wealth and power, but so are there choices grounded on the perception that the person asked is ideal -- as an ideal individual or as half of an ideal couple. But really, things may not seem as they appear.
Underneath the sheen may be cracks deliberately concealed or effortlessly so. I remember how people like Nora Aunor were often described as magaling magdala ng problema.
There was also an instance where someone was asked to stand as Ninang by a classmate whom she teased as having run out of barkada to ask because by then the classmate was into her sixth child. Usually with the first child one is so excited one gets everyone virtually to stand as ninang.
So what really should be the basis for choosing a ninang? I really don't know because all of us being human, we often times fail to say what lies beneath. Are there undercurrents lurking somewhere we can't see? What will the future bring? Will that person be the same good individual you thought he/she was?
Nothing is certain, one can only hope and pray.
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2 comments:
The first time I became ninang (I didn't say yes but they put my name in anyway and somebody proxied for me) in a wedding was when one of my students got married. He was about 25, I was 32 and I asked myself, "was that appropriate?"
Since then I have said NO so many times I have lost count. This even became part of my farewell speech at the end of each school year when my students are about to graduate. :)
wow, you managed not to go? sometimes being invited to weddings can be a problem as one has to have a good dress. Lucky the men who can use the same barong repeatedly. I have one good blouse which I refer to as my barong because I've worn it several times. But as ninang, I guess I'll have to get a new attire that will match the rest of the sponsors. sigh.
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