Tuesday, April 29, 2008

My guests, beware

When you visit me in my house, be ready for the following:

from Maid A: That she'll get something for your plate to hand to me. Minutes ago, my husband and I were having lunch. I asked her for a knife. Holding the knife on my husband's plate, she said, "kuya, gagamitin mo to?" When my husband said "no," she got it and handed it to me. I asked her "wala na ta kutsilyo?" She facetiously answered "may ara pa. indi niya man pag-usaron." I asked my husband if he had laid the knife on the table. He said it was on his plate. Good heavens. I told Maid A to refrain from doing that when I have guests, or even with my husband and son. Will she obey? Remains to be seen. She habitually disobeys me, like she returns from market on her market day after lunch time, so I have to order. she takes forever to cook food so sometimes we have breakfast ready at 8, lunch at 1, dinner at 8. hayyyyyy. My wrinkles and grey hair are mostly because of her.

from Maid B: A hello, a loud hello, rather than a meek good morning/afternoon/good evening. And side comments.

from Maid C: If she knows you're single, she might ask if you have a boyfriend. Or if she sees you on the road, she'll ask where you're going. My cousin's wife laughingly told me this once. She was standing near their condo waiting for her husband when Maid C charmingly/brazenly asked her this.

hay naku.

So be warned. Though I correct them, it doesn't follow that they learn.

Re Maid B:
One time, I asked for my bottle of perfume. I said the one in the white bottle. Maid B said, "eto?" I said, "white!"

She then opened the drawer, showed me this and asked, "eto?" Promise she did.

Then finally, she showed me the right white bottle: this.



Sa wakas. I don't know if there's a hardware problem besetting the three or what! because though they have doorbell codes (Maid A -4, Maid B -2 and Maid C 3), a lot of the time, when I blow the horn twice or four times, it's the youngest, Maid C who comes. So as you can see, they have a lot to learn: counting and colors for starters. Manners for another.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Though I'm sure this was not intended to be a comic post, I really had a good laugh ... I'm sorry.

Grabe. I can't imagine what I would do if I were in your place! Aaay, I've had no maids for nearly 13 years and reading your horror (but funny) stories about your maids-from-hell have just strengthened my resolve never never (er, for as long as I can help it) to hire maids because doing this might not just give me gray hairs but might even be the cause of my death, heaven forbid.

antonette said...

Ok lang that you were entertained. I try to laugh about it na lang otherwise, ang puso. Grabe gid ya. This a.m., I told Maid B to clean the chicken breasts because I was going to cook pastel. I told her to put them in a bowl. Guess what? When the bowl got back to me, the chicken breasts were still cling-wrapped in their styropor bases. It was Maid C who cleaned them because, she said, that's what Maid B told her. Sometimes, I think Maids A and B were queens in their past lives, and Maid C was their slave. They still order her about like they pay her salary. I tell you.

Unknown said...

Maid C ... Cinderella? So Maids A and B must have been the wicked stepsisters.

Awful.

antonette said...

Hahaha, that's a most apt analogy. Galing. I never saw it in that light. Maid A is actually Cinderella's step sister. Honest. And Maid B is Cinderella's cousin. Hala, I now have a name for Maid C - Cinderella. How insightful of you! Galing!