My Son's New Friends

No, Joey hasn't been replaced in my son's heart, but as though to prepare my son for his loss, months back, my son was invited to audition for a church ministry singing group (I'm not sure that's how they should be referred to -- sounds rather awkward the way I put it). He qualified and has been practicing with them twice a week, performed with them even, as far as Tarlac, and I guess, in a sense, bonded with them. This account relates to Joey still.

Monday night, as we drove to Joey's wake in Christ the King, Green Meadows, my son said, "Tomorrow will be the first time he (meaning Joey) hears us(meaning, Hangad)." Knowing they practiced in the church loft, I asked if they sang loud enough to be heard at the wake. He waved my question off impatiently, as it was too literal, I guess. I promptly kept quiet and what he meant dawned on me.

Tuesdays translate to Hangad practice at Christ the King and my husband and I thought they might possibly sing for Joey before practice. I thought, maybe just one song. I suggested this to my son, but again, silence met my suggestion.

Familiar with one of the Hangad members, I texted him the following morning to ask for that one song because I wasn't sure my son would be "brave" enough to do it, even for his friend. The Hangad member I texted relayed my request to the other members who promptly agreed. In the meantime, unknown to me, my son had also texted them. And they agreed to sing, not just one song, but for the entire mass. I cried when I heard that because yet again, my son had chosen friends who have heart and compassion. I asked if I should give a token, they said no.

As they sang at Joey's wake Tuesday night, I was moved to tears by the brand of friendship they showed my son, aware that he had just lost his best friend. Their singing was especially beautiful so that after the mass, people asked who they were.

Later, a grand-aunt of Joey wondered out loud who should sing at the funeral mass for Joey. I suggested my son's high school theater group, but I guess, my son wanted no less than the best for Joey so that when the grand-aunt asked him, he unabashedly asked his co-members in Hangad if they could sing one last time for Joey. They said yes, unequivocally. (picture of Hangad was taken during Joey's funeral mass by Rene Palma)

Considering that the group earns tens of thousands of pesos singing at weddings, I was most touched that they chose to sing for free for a co-member's friend, a co-member who hasn't been with them for even half a year. But I guess, they are that kind of people who prefer to make treasures for themselves in heaven, rather than here on earth. They also apparently put a premium on friendship.

As they left the chapel last Tuesday, they approached the grieving parents and offered their condolences. They also did the same to me, seeing how distraught I was , I guess, and aware of how much my son valued his friend Joey.

A few weeks back, one of the members told me, "welcome to the hangad family." What they did for Joey and my son is more than enough proof that those words of welcome weren't bereft of sincerity. So now I have yet another set of sons and daughters to add to the brood of sons I gained in the past four years in my son's classmates in high school and his org mates, also in high school.

Still, Joey will always be special. He who carried the guitar case of my son while my son was performing for the class, he who chose to sit beside my son in the bus during their innumerable field trips, he who was always remembering my son's birthday and giving him cake with fruits so my son would learn to eat fruits, he who advised my son to lose weight as it would be good for his health. He never called my son a pig, baboy, etc. the way some classmates did. Instead, he encouraged my son to lose weight in a positive way. Joey...