Fraternities and Hazing

Years back, when I volunteered to tutor public high school students in our parish, my co-teachers were high school students themselves if not college students from then Maryknoll and Ateneo. Okay, I was the eldest in the group and in a wheelchair at that. They all knew each other and I was the odd one out, so we never spoke that much except for three of the girls, one of them a former student of mine, another the coordinator, and still another because she was friendly. The boys, we just smiled.

Fast forward to a few years later. I saw one of my co-teachers in church. His head was bowed, his hands were clasped together. He seemed in deep prayer and it occurred to me he must have had a very serious problem.

Fast forward to a few weeks later. He was in the news. He died via hazing during initiation to a frat in Ateneo. When I saw him in prayer, was it about joining the frat that he seemed to be praying deeply about?

That's one reason, and in fact, it is the only reason I need, for assuming my anti-frat stance. There was this young man I "met", a volunteer co-teacher one summer, who chose to spend his Saturday mornings teaching young public school students, killed prematurely and needlessly.

So I have made known my stance to at least two friends. Friend A -- we talk a lot and as I always tell her, I'm not plastic so that even after I ranted against frats and she told me her husband was a frat member himself in college, I refused to change my mind against frats and I told her so. True, her husband is a good man who doesn't seem to have a mean bone in his body, but well, if the frat he joined had given him just one blow that could have killed him... or if he himself had hurt others, then ... Because I believe that just one death via a frat hazing is one death too many.

Now Friend B. His son was expelled from his high school after he and his friends tried to do a Robin Hood and boasted about it. They were referred to as Ocean's Six or something for their outrageous misdeed. What did they do? One of them hid in a box in a room containing computers and when the janitors had left, the rest came back to get stuff. They said they did this to help a friend on scholarship who was having a hard time financially. Well, they boasted about what they did at a party and their friend's mother overheard this and reported them to the school authorities, so they were investigated and a judgment passed on them: expulsion.

Fast forward to a few years later. His dad called me. I don't know if he wanted to brag about it because he certainly didn't sound worried. This time his story went like this: his son was recruited to a frat. He was being made to do "errands" early in the morning, etc. He expected his son to be paddled because that was part of the whole thing. His son's maternal grandfather before him had been a frat brother, same with his uncle. In fact there was a paddle in their house. Gosh, I told my friend, you mean you can stand the thought of your son's being deliberately hurt by some frat members? Aren't we as parents supposed to look after our children's welfare? When they were babies, a mere scratch on their knees would leave us shaking if it was the first time, and now this? I told him, before you know it, you'll see his name in the papers doing the same to those who come after him. What if suddenly succeeds in being one of those responsible for the death of another hazing victim? We haven't spoken about the matter since.

Last week, a UP student died from hazing-inflicted injuries. The frat is mum about the whole thing. One of the students interviewed was my husband's student before. His vehicle was among those identified but according to him, a friend whom he refused to identify had borrowed it. The name of a doctor was mentioned as having brought the hazing victim to the hospital where he's one of the chief doctors. The news says his son may have been involved in the matter. Who knows who else will be identified? The doctor himself is now in hiding. I understand why, he's protecting his son's identity.

It upsets me that this had to happen yet again. Apparently the victim was the eldest child in a family that's not as rich as the friends I identified earlier. He was seen as the hope of the family. Now that hope has been snuffed out, forever, and needlessly.